Oh the beauty of the backslash.
I recently told someone not to fall in love with me. Mostly because at this point I can't handle anymore ridiculousness in the love department. Quite honestly, in the last month, I think every guy I have ever dated has shown up with a "we did/do" moment. Dear boys - I already know that I am awesome...and really, once you leave me to date/marry someone else you kind of give up your chance to tell me how great we were/are.
So I have made a decision to realign my focus. I have a month and....10 days to submit my match list. That's it. That means I have approximately 40 days to decide where God wants me to be for the next 3-6+ years of my life. It is horribly terrifying. I have always had a moment of peace or...assurance or...affirmation. This time it's a little different.
Not to say I'm not affirmed. Quite the opposite. I so fully and deeply love my job as a medical student, I cannot possibly wait to do the next thing. I am absolutely positive that my life was meant to be lived out as a physician. It is amazing to come home from work each day still energized because it was so awesome. It's a way I never expected to really feel, and I have felt it this whole time I've been doing outrotations.
Which is the issue. I cannot figure out for the life of me how to rank my programs. I love so many things about a few of them that I am just at a loss for how to make my final decision in the rank. I didn't get a light from heaven...I was just blissfully happy for 6 straight months.
I know that I just have to "have faith" and "pray about it". I get that. And I'm trying to do that. But, seriously. If you know anything about me at all, you know I'm a total control freak just trying to figure out my rotation for March...I'm not ready to make a decision on a place to SETTLE down for at least 3 years.
I keep getting annoyed at Mr. Wonderful for turning out to be Mr. Married. That brief period of time I thought we were going to be together, it made this decision process much easier.
But seriously...me? Settle down? I don't even know what that means.
If only I still "do" with someone...then at least all that "did" would seem to be a little more worth it.
Slasher Out.
2 comments:
From a much older, yet not any more wiser, friend. Can I please leave you a bit of info.
Make your decision upon what you want from life. Where you could be happy. Close to friends and/or family or somewhere you've always wanted to live but haven't.
So my advice. There are things in this world that you can lose in a moment. Your house can burn down, your car can be wrecked, Mr. Perfect can leave, your dog can be stolen, etc. So the only way to truly be happy, is to make sure you base your life upon what makes you happy. Do what you love, love what you do, and the rest will fall into place. Besides, God is in control. If you rank the place he wants you to be as 6th, you will still get your 6th choice.
Gosh, I hope this helps. If not, at least you know a little more about me.
Laters!
ok -- so it's hard to give advice to someone going into the medical field as someone who's in the education field. But when I was attempting to decide what to do with my life -- there were 2 things that really helped: 1. Start making lists. Like a Pro/Con list ... detailed and weighted. This is also good procrastination for any studying that you might want to be doing, too. 2. start talking to people. A lot. Annoyingly. People who are at the places on your list and anyone with an opinion. Take it all with a grain of salt. Add to your list.
oh, and that pray and listen thing ;)
let me know if you need a sounding board to bounce ideas off of -- i can be a neutral 3rd par-tay. :)
love!
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