Friday, October 21, 2011

To Be or Not to Be...a Cardiologist

Ok, that's not actually on the table as a real-live option.  I like heart stuff, kind of.  Mostly, I think if I could do ONLY interventional cardiology I would do it for sure in a heartbeat (ha! get it?!)

Unforunately, once you pick a path you don't get to pick and choose which objectives you complete.  You don't get to just cut corners simply because you're tired of prescribing the same beta blocker to every. single. patient.

My cardiologist this week was awesome.  He was a wonderful teacher and while he made me feel like an idiot and publicly berated me more than once, I was kind of ok with it because he was nailing me on the things I need to know.  Plus, we always came back around to joking afterwards.  I wasn't totally convinced he hated me...not totally.

So early in the week he asked me if I want to specialize.  It's probably the most frequently asked question I hear.  I told him I am interested in heme/onc, which typically receives an echo of moans of disgusted pity hurled in my direction.  This experience was no different.  He couldn't believe I was interested in such a sad and depressing field...but I held my ground and said it's what I love.  He was not convinced.

Today was my last day with this particular cardiologist.  I watched him spend the whole day teasing his fellow attendings and as we walked through the ER to see a patient he said to me, "See?  Do you really think heme/onc is this much fun?"  And for a brief moment I lost my mind and told him that after spending the last month in cath conference, even if I had any interest in cardiology before, I definitely am too terrified now.

The PA we work with could do nothing but laugh.  I had a paralyzing fear that I was going to get destroyed by this attending for basically being a giant wimp and admitting it outloud.  He just laughed along like he had no idea what I was talking about and said that he never asks questions of his fellows that they shouldn't already be able to answer and that if they can't, they won't get it wrong a second time.

Yeah...maybe so.  But seriously, I am grateful to never ever ever present in a cath conference to a room of male cardiologists.  The yelling is more than I can handle :)

On the bright side, my new favorite heme/onc fellow presented a lecture on transfusions today.  I was 40 minutes late because of my cardiology patient who showed up in the ER 20 minutes before the lecture was supposed to start, but I made it.  AND favorite fellow told me I looked interested in the lecture the whole time.  Even better, guess who has a date in the heme/onc office for the next 4 weeks with the program director of the heme/onc program here?

That would be me!

Bring on the living!